Golf Etiquette That All Golfers Should Follow
Golfing etiquette - It is just a matter of common sense and good manners, surely?
There are many things about golf that get me going but NOTHING comes close to matching my feelings about bad etiquette.
Divots
I believe that one of the most unfair rules in golf is that when you hit a drive into the middle of the fairway and it lands in a divot hole then you have to play the ball as it lies. But here’s the thing - if the golfer who created the hole in the first place had actually replaced his divot then I would not be here moaning about it. I have had many conversations with fellow golfers about this and they all agree with me. And then I watch one of them carve out a divot the size of a small rug and calmly put the club back in the bag and walk on. I always made a big thing of picking up said divot and replacing it. For all the attention they pay to my actions I might as well be dancing around the course stark naked! Just replace your divots.
And that brings me to….
Pitchmarks
For goodness sake! This is almost as annoying. Let me give you an example. There is a 135-yard par three on my course. It is played from an elevated tee and that means that every golf that hits the putting surface is going to leave an indentation on the green, even when it is firm. So why is it that every time I play this hole I find myself repairing up to 10 pitchmarks? Why? I will tell you why - it’s because at least nine golfers who have played the hole before me could not be bothered to go into their back pockets, pull out their pitchmark repairer and fix the mark they have created. I don’t know about you, but I actually find it equally satisfying and annoying to repair pitchmarks. And, of course, the first people to complain about poor putting surfaces are the very golfers who do not repair pitchmarks. I told you not to get me started!
Divots, pitchmarks…what’s next?
How to correctly repair a pitchmark
Unraked bunkers
I have lost count of the number of times that I have climbed into a bunker to find my ball lying in a giant footprint, right next to a rake! I don’t care how many shots it has taken you to escape from the sand - once you have extricated yourself grab the rake and smooth the sand over. And once again, the golfers who do not do this properly will be the ones you find in the clubhouse bleating about the quality of the bunkers! Give me strength!
I am on a roll now…
How to correctly rake a bunker
Slow play
Ah yes, slow play. You knew this one was coming, didn’t you? For the love of God, if you have lost pace with the group in front of you and are obviously holding up the game behind you just wave them through. There is NOTHING more frustrating than having to hang around waiting on every single shot.
Scorecard
Why do so many club golfers feel the need to stand at the front of the green to mark their cards, knowing that the game behind is waiting to play? Do it on the next tee. And while I am at it, do not leave your clubs at the front of the green - leave them at the side of the putting surface, on the way to the next tee
Looking for a ball
You have THREE minutes to look for a ball. That is 180 seconds. Not five minutes, not 10 minutes. That is three minutes. If you take longer you are breaking the rules. And if you take five minutes and find your ball you cannot play it! See below...
Provisional balls
Will somebody please explain to me why so many golfers who smash a drive into trees or thick rough are so reluctant to play a provisional ball? If you really want to wind up your playing partners or those behind you, spend three minutes (that’s THREE minutes) looking for your ball and then begin the long walk back to the tee to hit the shot you could have hit when your original ball vanished from sight.
Eye-line
Please don’t move around in my eye-line when I am preparing to hit a drive, fairway wood, iron, pitch, chip, bunker shot or putt. In fact, don’t move around in my eye-line ever - on any shot
Change jangling
Have you ever played golf with somebody who constantly jangles coins in their pocket, almost always as you are standing over the ball trying to focus on hitting the damn thing? I have! It wasn’t a pleasant experience for anybody involved.
Talking
Please don’t talk to the other guys in the group when I am on the tee getting ready to hit my drive. I am not deaf. And because I am not deaf, I can hear you. I can hear every word that you are saying. I do not want to stand back from the ball and give you my death stare, but I will. So, no talking please when others are over the ball
Mobile phone
Switch it off! Is there anything more annoying than somebody’s phone going off when you are in mid-swing? Come to think of it, yes there is - a mobile phone going off constantly - and being answered! When you approach the first tee, switch it off - and keep it switched off until the final putt has been holed on the 18th green.
After-match drinks
If you have committed any or all of the above at least have the decency to hang around and buy me a drink before you rush off for that imaginary dental appointment.
Here’s a thought…get yourself a copy of the rules of golf. And then read it!
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