What You Can Learn About Someone During a Round of Golf

Golf is a game that brings out the best and worst in us. We have all seen meltdowns, people who blow their tops when things go wrong. Quite honestly, I don’t know where to look when it happens.

And then there are the people who, no matter what the game throws at them, never get flustered and never, ever lose their cool. How do they do that?

So what can you learn about people from watching them play golf or, indeed, how they behave off the course?

The golfer who arrives at the course minutes before his tee time and does not hit a single practice shot is probably going to be one of these people who takes everything in his stride. Or is so bad that he knows he is going to gain absolutely nothing by warming up first.

The player who takes forever to hit the golf ball and has a tortuous pre-shot routine is almost certainly somebody who has had too many golf lessons and whose head is full of swing thoughts. You can relax in the almost-certain knowledge that, at some point in the round, this individual will start hitting the ball all over the place.

We have all been out there with somebody who jangles change, coughs or sneezes while you are addressing the ball. Be sure of one thing - this is absolutely 100% deliberate. This is the win-at-all-costs golfer and I will bet my life savings on the fact that this golfer will be a very bad loser.

The individual who keeps saying “Bad luck” or “Shame,” does not mean it. He is inwardly absolutely delighted at your misfortune.

The guy who turns up with the latest clubs and wears clothes you would not be seen dead in is somebody who pretends that he doesn’t take his game seriously - don’t be taken in. He spends all his spare time watching golf on Sky Sports, streaming the sport at every available opportunity and reads every golf magazine known to man. He will also know the name of every YouTube golfer. And he will bore you to tears with his knowledge during your four-hour trek.

If somebody leaves themselves a two-foot putt and immediately looks you in the eye it means they are pleading with you to say: “Pick it up.” Here’s a piece of advice - give them a few short putts early in the round but when it comes to the crunch make them hole it out. I guarantee he or she is going to miss.

The golfer who keeps looking at his watch and sighs as he waits on every shot is a golfer who is ready to be taken down. With every hole he is getting himself more and more wound up.

Do not, under any circumstances, play with “The Walking Rule Book”. I believe the reasons for this should be self-explanatory. Trust me, this one just cannot wait to pull you up if you break the rules, however inadvertently. He will then tell you about all the pros who have made similar infringements.

Beware the veteran golfer who turns up with seven old clubs in an ancient canvas bag. He will bore you to death with 160-yards drives down the middle of the fairway and take 24 putts!

The golfer who complains of an injury is going to beat you and everybody else in the field.

If a golfer tells you he has been playing like a beginner for weeks, be sure of one thing - he is going to play out of his skin and give you a hiding.

When you finish your round your opponent spends an inordinate amount of time in the changing rooms, meaning you have to get the drinks in. And when you have finished your drink, he announces: “Right mate, I need to shoot off now.”  The miser! Grrrrrrr…..

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