The Worst Behaviour I Have Seen on The Golf Course

I don't know what it is about golf that seems to bring out the worst in people.

I have seen world-class professional golfers behaving like three-year-olds and I have witnessed close friends have utter meltdowns on the course.

I used to work with a man we will call Steve (not his real name). He was the most mild-mannered man I have ever had the pleasure to share an office with. And when the pressure was really on he would be the calmest person in the building. 

But then there was the Steve who played golf. This was a very different animal.

He had a lovely swing but it was not reflected in the scores he shot. It was always the same - he would stumble along for six or seven holes and then there would be one shot that would set him off. Let’s be clear - it was never a shot that was worse than anything else he had produced. But it was like it pulled a trigger in his head. The club would be slammed into the ground, kicked and then thrown. This would be followed by a torrent of foul language. He would then play the rest of his round in complete silence. As hard as I tried, I could not get a word out of him.

We would shake hands on the 18th, head to the clubhouse for a beer and he would apologise and then continue as if nothing had ever happened. It was truly bizarre.

And then there was John (this is his real name). He was the angriest golfer I ever played with. And his crowning glory came one day at the municipal course at Southport.

He had played superbly for 17 holes. I was marking his card and as we stood on the 18th tee I remarked that he needed a par for a round of 74. What was remarkable about that day was that he had not once blown his top.

But that was all about to change…

He hooked his drive out of bounds. This was followed by some very colourful language. He then launched his driver into the air, put his golf bag on his shoulder and stormed off down the fairway before I could tee off. His driver had ended up stuck in a tree to the right of the tee. I should have left it but I clambered up and recovered it. I then hit my drive, approach and two-putted for a par. John had given me a lift to the course so I headed to the car park. And guess what? He had driven off, leaving me stranded.

I had to call my wife and ask her to pick me up. The following week we met up and he apologised. He stood on the first tee and was clearly looking for his driver. "Is this the club you want John?" I asked. "How have you got that?" "I retrieved it from the tree after you hurled it last Sunday." He had absolutely no recollection of having done so!

There’s more. Much more.

On a society golf day at The Essex, we were standing on the ninth tee on a Monday morning. We had played 18 holes the previous day and were completing a further 18 on what was meant to be a fun weekend. 

One of the guys in the group ahead was known to have a temper and every time we had one of these golf breaks he told us all that it would be his last because he hated golf. He also had something of a temper on the course.

But none of that prepared us for what we were about to witness.

After hitting yet another bad shot, he picked up his golf bag and trolley and launched it into a pond by the side of the fairway and started to storm off towards the clubhouse. He suddenly stopped, did an about-turn, walked to the edge of the pond, stripped off and jumped in. He had realised that his bag contained his wallet, car keys and mobile phone. Unsurprisingly, he never joined us on another golf break.

I have seen golfers wrap clubs around trees. I have seen them hammer clubs into the ground. I have seen golfers throw putters in lakes.

I ghosted the autobiography of snooker player Graeme Dott. He is one of the most mild-mannered men I have ever met but he related a story that involved hurling a putter into knee-high rough after a missed tiddler. He stormed off the course but later thought better of it and waited until the course was quiet and went off in search of the offending club. It was never seen again.

And let us not forget the example set by so many of the world’s leading professionals. Sergio Garcia has been a serial offender over the years, throwing clubs, spitting into the hole, attacking bunkers. Now in his mid-forties you do wonder if he will ever grow up.

Colin Montgomerie in his prime was arguably the grumpiest golfer the world has ever seen. There were temper tantrums, there were rows with fans and photographers and there were spats with caddies. And, of course, because they knew he was such an easy target and was sure to rise to the bait, American fans used to give him a torrid time.

(Image Credit: Kevin Diss Photography)

Jon Rahm and Tyrrell Hatton often behave more like children than the adults they are meant to be, Matt Fitzpatrick often looks like he would rather be anywhere other than on a golf course. And the Sky commentary team seem to spend half their time on air apologising for the language of many of the world’s best golfers.

I am not going to pretend that I am whiter than white. I used to lose my temper on the course. As a 13-year-old my father once sent me off the course when I threw a temper tantrum. I am happy to report that I now just love to be out there and consider it a privilege. It is meant to be fun so try to play golf with a smile on your face.

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