Another little joke

Its my wifes birthday on saturday,

I said "i've booked us a nice romantic candle lit dinner for 4"

"why 4?" she asked...............

"Because I'm playing golf at 5"

Nothing wrong with that Tim!

ummmmm  funny i suppose

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very
 Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you
 want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.
 

Some people are hard to please ay John?

Matt, if it cannot be measured with a slide rule then Tim has difficulty relating to it, hence his lack of humour.

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physiotherapist and offered to help ease his "pain." "Please allow me to help, I am a physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" She told him earnestly. "Ummph, oooh, nnnoo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain". She began to massage his groin. After a few moments she asked, "does that feel better?"

The man looked up at her and replied, "yes, that feels pretty good ... but I still think my thumb is broken......"