Not Really Spam!

Here are some definitions found in spam posts.

I'm looking for a (insert club name here) and have seen it on (insert name of website) for £100, do you think this is good value?

What this really means is

Why don't you go to my website and look at it

I'm new here and I've been looking at (insert name of website here), has anybody bought anything from it?

What this really means is

Why don't you go to my website and look at it

I've been thinking of getting a (insert name of item here) and I've seen it on (insert website address here)

What this really means is

Why don't you go to my website and look at it

Are you seeing a pattern here? 

Please add your own definitions onto here as you see them.

Russ

Hi,

Me name is Ting Tong, I be playing golf for long time. I just buy this super club & me handicap drop from 28 to 3 in 5 days. If you want good game like me take look at the website on the click.

If you want buy one send me money transfer to offshore account 1000-3-223-4556
& I airmail you straight away.

I wish I had saves the latest on here before Darren deleted it (diabolical!!!).

John F was not far off though....