Oops registered for the wrong Team

I was in such a hurry to register and be a part fo the first South victory over the North that I inadvertantly registered for the North team (My father will be turning in his grave).

So perhaps someone can take a note that I am not a northerner (I don't talk to my neighbours or random people on the bus, I hate black pudding and Kendalls Mint cake and I wear a coat when its cold)  and tell me how to unregister.

I have subsequantly registered for the south but it looks like 30 people beat me to it

We are not lending you any players, Wayne. This year is serious.

Don't count your chickens, I am getting some very good players to join us in the South team. Keep your eyes open. We will have a very strong team.

We're recruiting mexicans with 28 handicaps.......

Bring on all your 28 handicappers, after they have lost three quarters of the difference things will not look so rosie.

Shouting at me, Wayne does not impress one little bit. This year is our year, get used to it.

I surrender to your greater verbal, Wayne.

You can stuff your 3/4 John!  Any low handicapper trying to get play off 3/4 is trying to cheat us hackers out of our rightful number of tops and duffs!!!

Maybe we'll do the same as the Europeans did in the Ryder Cup and let the opposition win so that the competition doesn't become one-sided and devalued........

Or they move the Southern divide to North of Leeds.....

Chris, you can thank your lucky stars that the standard of players taking up the game these days has forced the authorities to increase handicaps out to 28.

This should never have been allowed in my opinion. 24 maximum with the three quarter rule ensures that no one ever received more than one shot a hole.

How on earth can anyone with any self respect think they have won a competition getting two shots on some holes. It is a joke. I would be embarrased.

Tim, we have already argued over the dividing line and the North has won again, far more golfers to choose from.

I was less experienced then David, it was only my second ever competition and we could have tied it even at the end.  So, looks like one of the groups is chosen from the start, have had to wait for two years for revenge for that one....

Only nine spaces left David, are you going to play or are you a non playing cpatain.

I love the banter lads. still 3 months to go.

You are Captain, David, now start acting like one. Terrorise the North Team as often as you can.

No, just banning shell suits, flashy belts and not having lager or lemonade on in the clubhouse should get rid of half of the Southern team before we start - then hope for a bit of cold to finish the rest of them off.

Evening chaps,

Couldn't resist any longer having read this banter already starting 3 months in advance!! I've just registered for the mighty South team, will be my first Golfshake event so looking forward to putting some faces to names..... assuming the Northern element won't be too ashamed to show their faces obviously!!

Come on the South Team, it's going to be ours.... ALL OURS!!!!!!! 

Well done Jim, have not heard from you for a while.

Hi John,

Yes I had been away from the site for a while, mixture of work/family commitments and not a great deal of golf to talk about unfortunately.  However back in full flow now with a good level of practice over the past few weeks - certainly looking to improve my game this year - setting myself a target handicap of 15 by end of the year which should be achievable if I keep at it!

Will be good to meet you and the others at the comp, really looking forward to it - hopefully I can add one or two decent shots to the South campaign (we'll ignore the not so good hits!)

I imagine you've played the course before, or maybe you have captain David?!  If so what is your opinion on it?

Best regards

Jim 

I have not played the course before, Jim, but I have eyes and I don't see that as a problem. I fear the burden of Captaincy has affected David somewhat, as he appears to be reluctant to play.

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne - I can't believe you've publicised my ALGARVE blunder, I see the dirty tactics are coming out already!!

As for registering for the right team, ohhhhhhh yes - without doubt well and truly Southern through and through.  This will be proven on the day by enjoying the success of a fine victory whilst supping on a pint of the clubs finest lager shandy!

Hopefully they'll let you leave your Whippet outside so you can join us ?!!!

Just make they've got plenty of bitter an mild in the bar so that we can toast our win.  And that they don't forget to put gravy on the chips. 

Better make sure we check our scorecards though.  If their maths is as bad as their english who knows what scores we will have!

Think you've got it bad Mark.  I'm a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac.  I lay awake some nights wondering if there's a dog...

Brilliant!
  Jesus  Christ Tim,I had to google agonotic. I think it stems from your wild  adolescence Tim.......

I'm into sadism, necrophillia and beastiality, but I'm having difficulty finding like-minded people.  Perhaps I'm flogging a dead horse.......

I don't have to google them you dirty pervert!

The Captain should be responsible for making the teams pairings and it is not to be taken lightly, as it is most important that we utilise the better players properly.

If he isn't going to do it, then we don't need a captain at all.

Well that's me put in my place. I probably won't get selected now.

That is a contraction of we are Wayne, please rectify immediately.

"know KIDS we're allowed"

There's kids on and Santo's grammar is shocking.  Sort it out man, what kind of example are you setting?  We don't want these Southerners thinking we can't speak proper like. 

Brave words Mr Bond considering you had to borrow players from us last year.  The two guys Mr Flood and myself beat 6 & 5 last year both lived further north than we did!

The southerners are the homers as the only reason you've all signed up is that we're playing at a club where they will serve shandy, they will valet your Ford Capri (XR3i for the rich ones) without disturbing the furry dice and the outside temperature is unlikely to drop below 10*C

So now the truth comes out, you loaned us a couple of dead beats just to win a point,

With regards to the shandy, if you lived down the south you would quickly realise that we are hounded regul;arly by police checks for drink driving. I myself always have a bitter shandy after a game of golf, never liked lager and never drink at any other time.

We have already received two cold weather payments this winter from our illustrious government that all you lot up the North voted in.

Those 'deadbeats' had lower handicaps than John and myself.  It was all square at the turn and John was having a mare.  He managed to win the 10th and we went on a run.   

I have lived down South John; I lived just outside Aylesbury for three and a half years whilst serving in the RAF.  I only found one pub that served a decent pint of bitter and the landlady was from Yorkshire.  As for the government, I can assure that I have no responsibility whatsoever for that shower being in power. 

It is impossible to win 6 & 5 being all square at the turn.

When it comes to beer why is that all northerners thingk that the best brew come from up there. I am no expert as I rarely drink the stuff, but there are many fine breweries down the south that have won many awards for their real ales. It all comes down to personal taste in the end and living in an area for a long time gets one used to the ale that is being served locally and anything else after that is of a different flavour and pride prevents them from admitting that it might be better than what they get at home.

Mark, it is the Northerners that have kept this shower in power and are likely to do so again. I am just glad that I am at the end of my life. If Northern Rock had been called Southern Rock based in Brighton then it would not have been saved, that is for sure.

I feel you may have missed my point, Lee, it is well know that those from the North have always considered their beer better than from down South. We hear this all the time from the many Northerners who have moved down here. It is not a trait of the Southerners to constantly be saying that southern beer is better than northern beer.

What I will say is that the Northerners are much more hospitable than us southerners. I have a few friends from up north and I really enjoy being in their company.

Of course you are a proud Yorkshireman but I have never felt that way about the county I was born in. At one time I was proud to be English but now I'm afraid I wish I wasn't.

I admit my mistake, we went one up on the 9th after going one down on the 4th, squaring on the 7th and it we won 5 & 4 (6 & 5 is what I got beat the last time I played my Saturday morning matchplay).  It was a long time ago and I've had a few sleeps since then. 

I'm not suggesting that you can't get decent beer down south, I'm merely stating that in the local area where I was living during the early 90's I only managed to find one pub that served what I considered to be a good pint of bitter.  The south is a big (scary) place and I certainly haven't been to all of it or drunk every ale from every pub.  During days out to football matches in the south, I've tasted some excellent local brews and some I will never drink again (I suggest avoiding Alpine lager at all costs!).  I've not lived in the north for more than half my life now (16 years in the midlands, 3 1/2 in the south) so I don't think I can be accused of being used to the taste of northern ale, especially as I left the north aged 17. 

As regards to thinking all the best things come from the north, how could I possibly think that when I am marrying a Brummie this year!

I'm staying out of this sounds to much like politics to me......especially as I know where the best place to live is,and where the best drink comes from.

Yorkshire Dave?

You saying my missus is a slapper?

Chris, they never made a capri XR3i. That was the escort XR3i. You did have the Capri giha, 2.8i or the laser, or the mark I RS 3100, but never a XR3i.

As for the best beer, thats easy, Fullers LONDON PRIDE.

Is Marshall Senior playing in the NvS ?  couldn't see his name on the list.  I notice his son though.

They also made a limited edition 3 litre V6 'LuMo tuned' Capri Danny, it had a huge air scoop on the front - can't find a pic yet.

And as for Fullers London Pride - one of the most compelling reasons to move out of London I've ever come across....

All the slots are filling quickly David, you may have to be moved to the Northern team at this rate (if we can find a place for you)