Just a bit of fun

I feel sure most of you will have seen this or something similar before, but I was reminded of "Law 2" by a couple of other posts here in the Forums.

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking the law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to duff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly say, "You looked up," or incur the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?

LAW 11: Golf carts always break down at the farthest point from the clubhouse.

LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a rugby player, a professional boxer, a convicted murderer and a taxman or some similar combination.

LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds, or into water (see LAW 3).

LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt". Similarly, "unlucky!" can usually be translated as "how did you miss that, hacker!"

LAW 17: The person you most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.

LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until sunset the same day.

Just found these 'truisms' as well:-

• Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen ...
  and a week later you have to buy more.
• A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income
  of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
• It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
• When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier
  to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard?
• Golf is by far the ultimate love / hate relationship. Sometimes it seems
  as though your cup runneth and moveth over.
• It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other
  hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart while performing brain surgery.
• A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving
  up the game.
• Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.
• Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up
  praying a lot.
• A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.
• That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
• If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
• If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
• You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway!
  A sweatshirt will do just fine!

It was two trees actually David, so one cancelled out the other.